Another list! SEO predictions for 2007

Posted by: Marketing Guy Date posted: December 31st, 2006 Published in: Humour

I’m on a list writing frenzy today, and in a good mood getting geared up for a wild New Year’s Eve, so here’s another list to dwell on for the remainder of 2006…

Marketing Guy’s SEO Predictions for 2007

  • DaveN will be seen running nekid around a roundabout and admit it this time.
  • Matt will join MSN as an entry level spam hunter.
  • MSN will fail to see the irony.
  • Aaron will give up SEO but take his skill set to his new job.
  • Rodeobook.com will be a roaring success.
  • Global Media will take stock of 2006 and cry.
  • Brett will swap his blog for a blogger account and let all the bots back in.  That day will forever be known as “hug-a-bot-day”.
  • SEO newbies will ask questions on popular SEO forums and won’t be flamed or mocked.
  • Google will buy NASA, relocate all employees to the moon.
  • Enticed back to Google with the promise of a cat, Matt will sit in Google’s Moon Base with his finger hovering around an assortment of death ray style buttons.
  • Scholars will finally give in and allow l33t chat into the official English language for acceptable use.  Zipatoni will rejoice.
  • Stuff will happen at Yahoo.  No one will care.
  • People will finally realise that Youtube is shite and not worth $1.65 billion, and in fact the price was only suggested by Matt doing his Dr Evil impression.
  • Social media type sites will realise that a lot of people are in fact stupid and can’t possibly handle that level of responsibility.
  • A new generation of social media will be conceived.  I’m taking a bold step to try and coin the phrase, “STFU media”.  I think it’ll catch on.
  • As a result, people will be banned from uploading dumb ass videos to any public forum. 
  • Danny et all will sneak the word “watch” into copy and inbound links as often as possible.
  • Bloggers will finally declare war on SEOs.  Being geeks, most of the fighting will really just a few catty comments here and there, and possibly some PvP in WoW.
  • SEO bloggers will be confused.
  • Someone will point this out to Brendon. ;)
  • The top meme of 2007 will involve a length of string, a bucket of sand and some tequila.  It won’t go down well.  People will be too busy uninstalling Vista.
  • Vista will suck.  People won’t be surprised.
  • People will recognise the name Ted Leonsis but wonder why the hell they gave a shit what he said in 2006.  He works for AOL people!!
  • The Pope will take out an Adwords campaign, bidding on terms used by other religions.  He won’t be too impressed with the conversion rate.
  • Someone will launch a “Girls of SEO” site to rival SEOfangirl’s “Men of SEO”.  It will be an equally pleasant experience for everyone involved.
  • Askimet will take bribes to let comment spam through.  The Internet community will be able to gamble online and maintain erections once again.
  • For April 1st, Google will roll the index back to April 2002.  Spammers will rejoice.

And finally….in the interests of “keeping it fresh”, the SEO community will rename some commonly used terms…

  • “Link Baiting” will now be “Poker SEO”
  • “Adsense” will now be “Invisible”
  • “Social Media” will now be “STFU Media” (see above!)
  • “Ethical SEO” will now be “Bullshit Marketing Pitch”
  • “Spam” will now be “Cutts Juice”
  • “Sandbox” will now be “Newbie Joke”

Here’s to 2007!

MG