SEO Sucks & Here’s Why

Don’t get me wrong. I love what I do. But it’s more of like a . . . love-hate sorta thing.

It’s fun to help people. When I get biz clients and I’m actually able to help them achieve their goals, I love it. Especially when the results are big. We like big results.

But every once in a while, you work with people you just can’t help, for various reasons. Either they’re too high maintenance, Google doesn’t like their niche (ahem, locksmiths), or for some unknown reason (or what seems like no reason at all), you just can’t get their site to rank or bring in traffic. You’ve tried everything.

All that said, I’ve come to the conclusion that while I love what I do, sometimes SEO just plain sucks. Here are 4 reasons why:

  1. No one wants to hire us. You can’t market yourself as an “SEO” or an “online marketer.” Everyone thinks SEOs and online marketers are shady assholes. No, you’re a “web consultant.” God only knows why that sounds better to most people.
  2. The Google Dance. (Read this for a definition. Pretty much says it all.)
  3. Writing for search engines is painful. We all know keyword stuffing is bad, and using exact match keywords when they don’t make sense makes your shit sound awful. But we still do it, because even though Google says otherwise, it still works, especially if you do it sparingly. I much prefer to write for people. Writing for people is way more fun.
  4. Everyone wants to think they know SEO. Even business owners who don’t know a thing. They’ll spend time searching their keywords on Google and then call you when they see their not ranked to ask you why you haven’t been doing your job. Newsflash buddy. I have been doing my job so back off. Quit wasting time calling me (instead of doing your job) because you’re suddenly a know-it-all when it comes to your web presence. You hired me to get your phone ringing, so as long as that’s happening, you should be happy.

I don’t mean to sound like a jerk, but this is honestly the way it is when you do SEO for a living. It’s a hard life.

But testimonies like this one make it all worthwhile.


Happy Clients Make Me :)

Okay so I know I’ve been a little MIA lately. My last post was the first one I had written in months. But it’s because I’ve been so freaking busy with clients and haven’t had any time to maintain this poor excuse for a blog. But I promise to be better about posting at least once a month if nothing else.

I wanted to take some time to share this awesome testimonial I received from one of my clients via email, because it made my day. I was having a pretty shitty weekend until I received this:


I just wanted to write and let you know that your consulting services have resulted in a complete 180 for my business. When we met, my company was falling apart, and you agreed to start helping me for free. I don’t think I ever told you how thankful I was at the time that someone was so willing to take the risk of helping out a guy who was thousands of dollars in debt and about to declare bankruptcy. (I never told you all this, but I was just talking with my wife about it the other day, and she said, “you should tell him.” So here I am.) I really appreciate everything you’ve done, and I’m glad we finally got to a place where I could pay you. It was all thanks to you working hard to improve my online presence! I know you see all of the phone calls that come into our business line, but I wasn’t sure if you were aware of the incredible impact you’ve had on my company. I know you’re not interested in being hired on as a full-time marketing director, but if you were, I’d hire you in a heartbeat. Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do to help you grow your business as well. I look forward to many more years of working with you.



He’s been a client of mine for a little more than a year now, and I’m so glad I was able to help him out. Clients like this remind me why I chose this profession.


Why Your Rankings Don’t Matter

This is my cartoon friend, Freddy. He says, “Stop being such a nerd about your SEO!”

I recently acquired a new client. He was telling me all about how his former SEO team was lazy and was not doing what they were supposed to do. Now, granted, he is not an SEO expert—far from it—in his words. But he was smart enough to know what the goals were:

More traffic. More phone calls. More customers.

Rinse and repeat…

And when he wasn’t getting customers or phone calls (a.k.a. leads), he started fishing around and discovered that his site was not ranked quite high enough for his main keyword searches.

Every time he brought it up to his SEO guys, they’d make excuses and say they were “working on it.” His rankings would go up for a while, and then they’d drop again. So then he’d start fishing around again, discover the same results, confront them about it, and this eventually became a crazy cycle until he finally decided to fire the poor bastards . . .

Moral of the story?

Your search engine rankings don’t matter!

Okay so that’s not really the moral of the story, but it’s the point of this post. In my opinion, that particular business owner was wasting precious time searching Google for his keywords.

First off, he was probably logged into his Google account while searching, which totally throws off your results; it actually makes them better because Google knows that you’ve searched for that business multiple times.

Second of all, if you’re getting leads and phone calls, why do you care how high you’re ranked for “city, niche”? Apparently this guy wasn’t getting leads, so perhaps he had reason to go fishing around. But a lot of people who actually know SEO and know what they’re doing spend way too much time obsessing over things that just don’t matter. They totally geek out over tools like SEM Rush and Moz, and then freakout when their websites suddenly fall off the map with no explanation at all. (I know what you’re thinking, and no those are not affiliate links.)

Come on people. Let me say it again: your. rankings. don’t. matter.

Why don’t they matter? I’m going to tell you why. Because Google likes to dance. Google likes to party and party hard. And when you try to interfere with Google’s partyin’ habit, he gets angry. And he lets you know about it by partyin’ even harder. He’ll dance until he can’t dance no more, and your website will feel the brunt of every single move.

It’s a little thing we SEOs like to call the “Google Dance.”

There are 2 types of people in this world. People who know SEO and people who don’t. My hunch is that Google knows the difference. He’s pretty damn smart, after all. When people like us who know SEO start gaming the system, Google knows it. So he dances a little harder to throw your website down a few pages in hopes that you’ll quit messing with his mojo. Eventually, though, he’ll get tired. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it. The dust will settle soon enough, and your website will bounce right back. It may even bounce a little higher than before.

So please. For Pete’s sake. Stop being such a nerd and worrying about where your website ranks for your top 5 keywords. (Do you even really know what those are?) Keep taking massive action with the end result in mind: more traffic. more phone calls. more customers. As long as those numbers are going up, you got nothin’ to worry about, my friend.


Locked Your Keys In Your Car? Here’s What To Do…

It happens to the best of us: on the busiest of days just when we have that all-important meeting to attend we jump out of the car, bang the door shut only to realize having left the locked keys in car. In fact, it happened to me this past week. I rarely get out of the house; most of the time I’m staring at my computer screen working on some online marketing project. But I happened to go out for a client meeting around lunch time, and whaddaya know? I ended up stranded at the restaurant wondering how to get home. Obviously I made it home, as I was able to write up this article, which I hope will be of help to you if you’re ever stuck in the same situation.

child with car keysHere are some suggestions on what to do if you ever lock your keys in your car:

  1. Relax

Calm down! It happens to the best of us. If it is any solace, nearly 4,000,000 Americans are known to have a “locked keys in car” issue annually. The numbers especially increase in December during the busy shopping season. So, take some deep calming breaths. If you have your phone with you, dial 911. Alternatively, you could call a loved one in case they can get you a spare set of keys. Most emergency personnel can help unlock your car for you. If not, they can at least have it towed to the nearest car center and get the job done.

  1. Contact AAA or other roadside assistance

If you are a member of AAA or have purchased car insurance from reputable companies, then you could call them. Many of these organizations provide roadside assistance and can come to help you out. Granted, this could take some time — even several hours. So make sure you are safe and if there is a mall or a restaurant nearby, do not hesitate to go in and take shelter in adverse weather. This is an ideal step that could help most car owners having locked keys in car. However, to do this, you have to have your phone with you and also the car’s manual where the roadside assistance center’s number is listed. If the manual has been locked inside the car, then this step is not for you. It is always a good idea to keep all these useful emergency numbers on your phone or in a diary which must be carried on your person at all times.

  1. You can try to unlock the car yourself

Note: this step must only be tried if you know what you are doing. You will need a shoelace or a string which you must loop and insert from the car’s door near its window where the weathering strip is located. Try and get the string inside and wind it around the car’s door knob. This is not easy and you will need to be very patient. Once you manage to successfully loop the string or shoelace around the car’s door opening mechanism, you will need to pull the end in your hand gently so as to tighten the loop. Once this is accomplished, you can vertically pull the knob and unlock the door.

Another method for opening car doors when you have locked your keys in the car is the use of a hanger. Take a wire clothes hanger and straighten it. Now bend the straightened end of the hanger so it forms a hook and insert it inside the car from under the window where the car’s door locking mechanism is located. Jiggle the hanger around until you are able to locate its mechanism of locking. Now push the hanger around and upwards so that it hooks around the door locking mechanism. Once this has been located, simply keep pushing until the mechanism unlocks.

  1. If you have the tendency to leave your keys in the car

If you have the tendency of forgetting your car keys inside locked cars again and again, then there are some preventive steps to take:

  • Keep a spare key handy. You can do so in a secret spot inside/outside your house, in your purse or wallet, or even on the exterior of the car itself (using a magnetic metallic box which you can attach under the car where thieves won’t see it).
  • Better still, you could buy a car that cannot be locked unless the key is removed from the ignition.
  • Get a replacement key made from the car’s manufacturer/dealer. Making a replacement key costs a whole lot of money, which you wouldn’t want to spend. You could alternatively visit a nearby locksmith or key maker to have a temporary key This will only open the door but not start the car.

I hope these steps help you get out of a tricky and stressful situation (should you ever find yourself in one…)


Blogging For Business … Is It Necessary?

I’ve been trying to convince one of my clients to focus on their blogging strategy, and they just don’t seem to have much faith in the idea of using a blog to build SEO. It seems crazy, especially since it’s a digital software company. You’d think a software company would understand the value of online content to building an audience, but no…

Then it occurred to me… I do this for a living. I understand the value of it, because I’ve seen it work. SEO is my forte, and I know that the phrase “Content is King” still stands. I mean, Bill Gates coined the phrase, for Christ’s sake. He’s one of the richest people in the world. That’s probably a sign we should listen to what the heck he has to say (at least when it comes to making money.)

So, I guess this post is my attempt to put into words what I’ve been wanting to say to this client, and then maybe if I ever get the balls, I’ll send it to them. (Probably won’t happen until after they fire me…)

Blogging is crucial for your business if you expect to build an audience online, and here’s why.

1. Having a blog lets you update your site on a regular basis. And Google loves consistency. You could build a website without a blog, but the chances that you’ll update it regularly with new pages and new keyword-rich content are slim. Why would you need to? Most rookie website owners have a “build it and they will come” mentality, but the real goal should be “update it and they will come.”

Not only does Google love regularly updated content; so do your social media platforms. When you have a blog, you’ve got more useful content to make use of on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and the like.

(By the way, if you’re reading this, go ahead and click the social sharing buttons at the bottom of the post to share it on your social networks. I’ll love you for it!)

2. Blogs are informative, educational and engaging. There’s no better way to engage your audience than to provide them with useful, relevant content that answers their questions, satisfies their curiosity, or just helps them accomplish something—whatever that something is.

Think about it. What do people usually do when they want to know how to do something or have a general question about how something works?

“Google it.”

There’s a reason why that phrase is so popular. Everyone turns to the Internet. A blog is the perfect place to house educational content that you wouldn’t otherwise publish on your regular website pages.

3. Blogs are a great way to build your brand. A blog allows you to showcase who you are in a way that you wouldn’t be able to otherwise. People who read multiple blog posts from you will start to see a pattern in the way you explain things. That pattern is known as your “voice,” and it’s an essential part of your brand and how you build brand recognition.

If you have multiple writers on your team, a blog is also a great way to connect with your audience in a more personal way. Each of your writers can have his or her own bio and photo attached to the posts they write. That helps give your brand a face and a name that more people will recognize. Writers can also use their own social networking platforms to share your brand, which helps you build a wider audience.

As I mentioned before, I’m working on getting my client to see and understand the benefits of blogging for their business, but it’s taking some time. Hopefully this post is helpful to everyone else who may be reading it and considering implementing a blog as part of your digital marketing strategy. If so, do me a favor, and hit one or more of the share buttons below. Thanks!


Why all SEOs should something something

You know that completely normal thing that you’ve been doing on a professional business level for years?  Well, you’ve been doing it wrong.  Fortunately for you, I have a fairly short and easy to read blog post that lists a number of reasons why you should be doing it differently – and conveniently, most of the reasons relate to the new product or services I’m selling, a new process I’ve developed to try and look cool, or possibly refer to popular culture in some unique, but probably tenuous manner.

1.  “Something” is like fish

You never see fish cry, do you?  Why do you think that is?  A valuable lesson in both business and in life for us all, I think you’ll agree.

2.  A famous philosopher once said…

“A man must tread carefully for he knows not who’s footsteps he follows and whose shall follow his” – powerful words that remind us that whatever we do – always cover our tracks!  You never know who will be following you – they might have a knife or a gun or a bazooka or a tank or a rabid dog!  And I don’t know why a rabid dog is worse than a tank, but it is.  It’s almost like a zombie dog and zombies are scary.  Although given the choice, I’d rather have a tank in a fight than a zombie.  Strangely though, fighting a zombie IN a tank would be the worst possible scenario.  The bazooka would be all but useless and I’d be concerned that firing the gun would cause some kind of ricochet.

3.  Nurses don’t obsess about links, so why do you?

If Florence Nightingale doesn’t give a second thought about links as she goes about her business, why do you?  Argument.  Won.

4.   Something about ethics

5.   Insert current jargon reference

“Something” will help protect you against (delete as appropriate) – negative SEO, bad neighbourhoods, link networks, black hat SEOs, grey hat SEOs, asshat SEOs, scraper sites, MFA sites, link removal requests, unnatural link profiles, Google bowling, Google bombing, Google Panda, Google Penguin, Google Koala, Google Bearded Dragon, Google Mongoose, Google Zombies, Matt Cutts, Matt’s cat, Matt’s Youtube channel and Pinterest Meme Spamification (PMS…*snigger* – I think we should adopt this phrase!).

6.  Time to name drop

We don’t really believe that linking out to “authority” sites has any significant impact on the success of the article, but we do it anyway.  So this is the point where you write a little bit about the links you bought on SEL , the guest post you wrote on SEL or your time spent pitching your company, speaking at a conference.

7.  Unzip, let it hang out and compare it to others

Remember that time you did that thing for so many years that you became an expert?  Great!  This is a great opportunity for you to reinforce your credentials, because even though you are targeting this article at your contemporaries, you really hope that you’ll make such a good impression that they’ll send lots of business your way.  Because marketing to your competitors is much more sensible than marketing to your customers.  Hey, it’s fine – you’re an SEO – it’s all about being number 1, right?

Make sure your blog post has this statement somewhere:  “I wouldn’t use a SEO service that doesn’t do…” – PPC, social media, link building, marketing, coding, design, telemarketing, DIY, World of Warcraft, knitting, juggling.  Be sure to pick the area that you are strongest in – that way people will think that this is important see you as the best.  Even though you’ve probably written an article with so much jargon that only other SEOs will read it.  And know.  They’ll know.

8.  Bonus tip!!

If you are guest posting on another site, then absolutely DO keyword link to your own niche product or service in an article centred around that niche product or service.  There’s no way that anyone – SEOs, real people or Google – will ever construe that is being self-serving.  Credibility +1.  Sure you say, Google Penguin taught us that lesson, right?  Yeh, that’s new and now you know…


5 Tips to Land Your First SEO Client

Had a meeting with a potential client today thru my new Charlotte SEO agency job with LukeHot Leads. It took me back to the days when I first started my SEO gig and all the horrible memories of trying to land that first client.

Don’t get me wrong. It was a good meeting. But we left some major details and decisions up in the air. It wasn’t one of those easy deals that just closes right when you meet the guy for the first time. I could tell he wanted to really make sure I could deliver on my promises to get him ranked and send him leads. (Even though we’ve already sent him around 50 leads in the last 2 weeks…)

Needless to say, I’m a little frustrated, but motivated all at the same time. Like I really want to impress this guy. I hope to close the deal by next week, but in the meantime, I figured I’d spell out some tips for any aspiring SEOs who are wondering how to land that first client. So… here you go. You’re welcome.

1. Deliver upfront results. Everyone and their mother’s uncle is out there trying to close SEO deals by promising they can “get you ranked.” Newsflash: businesses are tired of hearing “we can get you ranked on page one of Google.” Well I’d sure as shit hope so, if you’re gonna charge me $1-5K a month for your services.

Don’t be like every other company out there and charge thousands of dollars out the gate and then over-promise and under-deliver. Do the opposite. Deliver great results before they even give you a dime. Start sending them leads. If they start closing them and making more money, they’ll likely want it to continue. And they’ll come to you to make sure that happens.

2. Be confident. If you walk into your business meeting with confidence, like you actually know what you’re doing, you’ll have a much better chance of landing that client. I was scared to death when I met the owner of the first business I worked with, but I decided to put my fear behind me and walk in with confidence. We ended up having a great conversation and I landed a deal that was a win-win for both parties.

3. Make more offers. Don’t rest your entire business on one prospect. The more lines you have in the water, the more fish you’re likely to catch. So pitch your services to multiple leads each day. By the end of the year, you’ll have built up a pretty decent client list.

I use Screencastomatic to create short videos for my prospects, showing them exactly what I do and how my services can move their website to the top of the search engines.

4. Outsource when necessary. There are always parts of the SEO process we don’t like doing. And the more clients we take on, the harder it becomes to manage them all. That’s where outsourcing things like content creation (I like to find freelance writers on Upwork) and local citation building comes in handy. I guess this is more of a long-term tip, and not so much relevant to landing your first client – but it still applies.

5. Don’t turn down money. If your first prospect low-balls you, take it. You can always go to his competition, get a better offer, and renegotiate later, once you’ve proven your worth. At the same time, know your long-term value, and don’t settle for less if you can help it. If a client wants to be a cheapskate after you’ve made him thousands of dollars, it might be time to move on and look for someone else to work with.